The dirty, sneaky lil grease devil

it's a hot and humid day in Bahrain today. no, let me rephrase. it's freakin' blazing! (this info has totally no relevance to my entry today, but i had to emphasize that the heat is totally seeping into my brain)

So, i was working from home today when the Sri Lankan housekeeper, Fatima walked in. After she'd busied herself with the cleaning and mopping and washing, she sat down next to me and asked for a favor. here's what become of a conversation that changed my normal day into an abnormal one:

Fatima: Can you help me go to the internet? i have important news from home that i need to check. i've been asking my son to help me, but he's been busy you know? He's busy working and then at night he runs around with his gang.

v: Sure, what do you want me to look up for?

Fatima: *Now eyes wide open and whisper in a hushed tone* Can you look for 'The grease devil in Sri Lanka?'

v: Huh? What devil?

Fatima: Shhhh... *putting finger to lips* GREEEASE devil. you know, this devil comes in a form of a man covered in grease (now orang minyak from one of those P. Ramlee movies came to mind) and he's been running around in rural Sri Lanka biting woman on their neck and their chest (seriously, the chest? Erghh, this must be one little pervy ghost) and then steals their goods. My sister told me she almost got attacked last week but she was lucky because she managed to get up and scream for help. Ya Allah, may God protect her. *she started tearing up now*

v: Huh? Hmmm.. Okay... Why? *now googling GREASE DEVIL SRI LANKA*

But Fatima, you know that ghost doesn't exist right? And even if they do, i don't think they are allowed to harm human beings, like physically. Maybe these are just thieves who wants to dramatize their little outings.

We had a back and forth talk about how this is real and unreal- the more i tried to console her and tell her that this is all made up, the more hysterical she becomes.

Now, how do you explain to someone that she has no reason to worry about her relatives because really, these ghost aren't really running around trying to bite them in their chest and neck? How do i tell her that instead of buying books and books of Quran and storing them under every pillow in the house, they should start buying bigger padlocks? How do i tell her that if there is anything she should be worried about, it would be mortals rather than spirits? And with all her arguments, she'd totally poison my food if i told her that her sister was probably too terrified of all these stories that she was starting to imagine things. (you callin' my sister crazy now, you bitch? lols)

In the end, i zipped my little mouth because really, what's the point? sometimes, when people believe in something, so bad, no amount of logical explanation is ever going to change anything, anyway.

So this is what i think: the grease devil or the orang minyak isn't real. As much as there is no amount of convincing that can convince Fatima about the non-existence of these ghosts, it isn't gonna convinced me the other way round either: unless, until proven otherwise :)

past tense

"It is not your past that makes you who you are; It is the way you deal with it."

When someone isn't letting you into their past, you won't be invited into their future.

of Character and such.

There was a big footie match between Malaysia and Singapore on the 28th July 2011 and there's just massive hoohhaa throughout the country. Me being totally oblivious to these happenings, i was just glad that the malls were emptiers and the roads calmer.

I left the office, had dinner, came home and had a rather insignificant evening.

But at 11-ish when i was just about to go to bed, i went through my Facebook via my blackberry. You know what they say, you can judge a person's character by judging the way they react towards the smallest things in life, i.e a football match. Here are the entries that caught my eyes. Some just startlingly unbelievable and some are just downright offensive - and it really show one's true color.

Entry one:

"Puk***k punya SingaPURAPURA. Pandai belakon je-main macam puk***k, aku sumpah kapal terbang kau meletup!"

My thoughts: WTF?!!! Dude, as if cursing on FB isn't bad enough, you wish DEATH upon the players? and btw, you're also probably wishing death upon all the other 200 passenger on that KL-SIN flight. You are SICK in the head! Why are you even my friend on Facebook? Now, where's the delete button *delete* Urrghhh...

Entry Two:

(note: this is written by a Malaysian man): Hoorayy!! Malaysia kalah! padan muka! padan muka! The tiger has been tamed and put in place by the lion. Malaysia, you're a loser country in every other way.

My thoughts: Dude! WTF? you're a Malaysian living in Malaysia and you wanna kutuk your own country? if Malaysia is such a bad place to live in, nobody's gonna stop you from leaving.. you know how people always glorify being in a different country? Well, try living there for a while and see if you like it? if yes, suit yourself, but don't stay in this damned land and bitch about it *roll eyes* you ungrateful biotech.

Entry Three:

"Negara bangsa bodo: Kau orang ni sama macam pemain Chealsea bangsa syaitan tu"

My thoughts: Fuc*** racist. Need i say more? *delete* Please note that this person is real life is a pretty decent person. OF course, he may look totally decent but who knows, maybe when he turned his back on me, he's probably thinking 'Freaking bidayuh people, go back to your own land!' i HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR RACISTS & RACISM of any kind. p/s: and dude i really cant see the connection between a football game and races.

See, there's a very thin line between being passionate and being sick in the head.The way you react towards a person doesn't show the other person's character, it shows yours.

Being a very competitive person myself, i have had been in many situations where i was on the losing end. OF course, it would be lie to say it doesn't sting that ego (ouch!). However, i would always manage to smile and say 'Good game, lets do it again soon' and i'll come back with a vengeance! *rawwwrrrr* Thinking back, even when the score was totally flawed, i have NEVER ever wish my opponents unwell, especially NOT death.

So the question is: You can embrace all that passion and be totally enveloped in the euphoria of winning or losing. But where does it stop for you? What's your thin line? When you wish for something bad for someone over one game (or perhaps two), how do you live with your conscience? At the end of the day, was it all worth it?

keep the happy juice flowing

So, i heard about a group of girls who went to Cambodia and ate a whole 'happy herb pizza' and some 'happy banana milkshake.' But why'd they do that you may ask? Well, maybe they were bored, or perhaps curious, but i guess it must be the overrated 'things you MUST do in Cambodia' recommendations that GOT them..

But anyway, the idea of this story is so that you know what to expect if you're itching to give it a try. You MUST remember that smoking weed has a totally different effect in comparison with consuming it orally (be it a warm slice of happy brownie, a happy herb pizza or a yummy glass of happy banana milkshake). The intensity of smoking it up is probably only 20% of the oral consumption effect and the after effect of oral consumption last way, way longer.

Here's what you need to know:

1-2 hours upon consumption: Feeling rather lost and confused

3-5 hours upon consumption: increased heart rate & massive paranoia. this is the part when your heart drums like it's about to explode from your chest and your paranoia starts telling you that you'll die from this condition. Your thought will race from one to another without stop and you think you'll go crazy from the thinking. Hallucination may happen. you can't focus on anything because you keep losing your train of thoughts.

6-8 hours: you'll probably have to force yourself to go to bed because by now, you are certain that you'll die or go crazy. but the moment you manage to calm down and close your eyes, you'll start spiraling in and out a dream filled sleep.

the next day when you wake up: you feel a lot better. you are calmer but you feel kind of drunk. everything seems rather slow- slurry speech, delayed reaction, acute tiredness. you'll feel like this all day! *please note that this is NOT a good feeling.

the day after next: just when you thought, 'oh i'm sure this is gonna go away today, it has been 3 days anyway!' you slug yourself through what seems to be normal life feeling tired and sluggish. sometimes you hear a buzz in your head and sometimes you are just slow and calm. (This is the part when you are worried sick but still sane enough to google 'effect of m* via oral consumption' and realized there's a bunch of idiots who's done it and been through the same hell as you did and you'll start wondering why you didn't google this earlier.

FYI, (i feel a need to scare you a bit), there has been quite a few cases of people who has got panic attacks from this condition and check themselves into the hospital to get help.

So the moral of the story, boys and girls, is "SAY NO TO DRUGS!"

Now kids, i'm dead serious, If you ever feel gungho-ly adventurous, please don't be a dumb-ass: at least google and be aware of what you're getting yourself into. Till then, keep the happy juice flowing- we have totally no need for those not-so-happy pizza!!!

My sister.

This is my story about what it is being family.

i was arranging for buying an apartment this week. Due to some miscommunication and delayed paper arrangement, i was suddenly told that i needed to prepare a certain amount of cash by tomorrow-failing which, my deposit will be forfeited. and mind you, this is not the kind of cash you'll find lying around in the spare drawer or in the car glovebox.

And me, being me, started hyperventilating and panicking like a mad cow.

I have no idea where to get that much cash within the next 19 hours so i started panicking and crying and just to vent it out, i called my younger sister and told her my situation. You see, my sister is the last person i'd ask money from (no pun intended), she's a mother (a good one at that) who pays for everything: her house, her car, her child and i know she wouldn't have that much reserve. After listening at my hysteria-filled complaints, she just told me to be patient.

3 hours later, she called and told me that she's kindda digged out of her own savings and asked some friends to lend her some cash and it all adds up enough to lend them to me: only to find out later that i have already gotten my finances sorted out.

The bottom line is: She's totally pulled a surprising act on me, yet again. I am totally speechless (and eternally grateful). When she didn't have the resources, when she didn't need to, when she's busy worrying about her own issues- she put a pause to all that and started worrying about my problem. Not only did she made these inconvenient sacrifices, but she also asked her friends for help, which, i felt, was totally senseless!

So, to me, this is what being family is all about: It simply means doing things that doesn't necessarily make sense, for each other.

Thanks Jules, for being such an awesome, unpredictable sister.

Because one day...

"This is the thing about having kids, or having a child closest to your own. As much as you hate admitting it, You know that you can't keep them forever. "

Because One Day...

You'll grow up and realized that it isn't cool to go dancing with your aunty anymore.

You're gonna start wanting to hang out with hot girls your age-not someone 25 years older.

You're gonna think our little kite-flying, surfing and rock-climbing club, just me and you, isn't as cool as football with the boys.

You'll start having a Life. Real everyday issues to deal with, real dilemmas, real pain~ and i know i can't make it all better with just one kiss.

i'll wonder if i had done right by you.

Because one day, i'll have a gazillion questions about us: What i've done & what i could've done. But at least i know, as of for now, i've tried my very best to be the best aunty in the world.

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

Ohhhmmmm....

Okay, i know this is going to sound a little CULT-like. But well, i'd like to tell you anyway.

This happens a few months ago during one of my soul searching moment, i was at a really quiet and mystical place, just right at the edge of the earth-where no one goes.

And so i met a monk. Yuppers, no bullshit, and he was slipper-less, dressed in one of those orange robe, with a clean shaven head and a face without expression. There is just something rather ghostly and scary about that. And then yiddy yidda,yappa yappa... and i'm suddenly in his meditation class (please don't ask me why i do such ridiculous & contradictory things).

There there i was, sitting in a small meditation class, consisting of 5 other people thinking 'hell, what did i get myself into?' and then the 'Ohhhhhhmmmmmm' and 'Kching' 'Ding' 'Ding' 'tek' 'tek''tek' happens. (lols.. kching and ding is the sound of the occasional bells and up til today, the tek.. tek.. tek.. still baffles me!) and that whole stillness and random chanting went on and on and on for about an hour: i believed i slipped in and out of a spiral-like coma and every time i emerge out of my sleep, i kept wondering if i SNORED,. I seriously doubt that my first acquaintance with meditation was anywhere near THE ultimate meditation experience. When it ended, i felt more restless and confused and worried rather than feeling enlightened.

So then this great skinny bold monk started to speak and of course, i was so busy drifting in and out of my great wild imaginary adventures, that i hardly hear anything he said. And then suddenly my eyes got fixated to a blonde man sitting at the other side of the room, i saw him raise his hand and spoke:

Blonde Man: "My great guru, can you please tell me where do i find God?"

Monk: "Where do you think you can find God? God lives in you."

Blonde Man: "Yes, but i believe many people find it challenging to bring that 'God' out of you. Would living in solitary for say a month, in a temple in Tibet, help? Maybe get your mind of insignificant things and focus on the bigger picture?"

Monk: "So you think God lives in Tibet?"

Blonde Man: "No, i mean, just a solitary place. Not necessarily Tibet."

Monk: "Well to be honest, you're asking the ultimate 'Where is God' question. But the answer is rather simple."

Veronica's head: "Whhoaahh.. this is getting really deep and i think he's gonna say something really ridiculous now. *Grin*"

Monk: "Before i start, i need to tell you again, that i am NOT here to teach you religion. Meditation is NOT religion. You need to know your religion. Every man must have a religion to guide him and to seek direction. Meditation is a form of quiet moment where one search deep into his soul and connect and reinstate with what he believes in.

And where is God?

Many people has all sort of fancy stories and theories on how they find God. They don an orange robe and climb the mountains of Tibet, they live in basic solitary in the temples of India. They thought then, that they have found God but when they get home into real life, it becomes a blur and all chaotic again. Why are you here? Did you think being in a room with a monk would lead you to God?'

Veronica's head: "HHmmm... *Serious Face* "

Monk: "Now, let me tell you where God is.

When you look at the bible, it's so simple that people just read pass it. It say God is LOVE. In the Quran, it say God is LOVE. and Love is God. and that simply means, if you love and be in the state of love in the purest form, you are in the presence of God."

Blonde Man: "But how do we know when we are in the state of pure love? i mean, what is the definition of love anyway?"

Monk: "This is quite simple. Now, why don't we all close our eyes. i want you to think of a person that you love beyond life. I mean okay, if this is the end of the world and you are the chosen one to be safe, but you are allowed to give up that place for a replacement person. can you think of someone? A child? A parent? A friend? Can you think of a person that you love so purely that you'd give up everything for him or her in a heart beat?

Now, think of this image and i want you to feel all that you feel for this person, imagine reaching out to this person and holding him or her. Feel that emotion and bond-and if you'd like to say something to this person, say it"

And so i closed my eyes, for a few seconds, i really can't think of anyone that i'd die for: And then an image of my 7 year old nephew, Joel came into my head and, i just started crying. I cried because i'd give up anything for him, a thousand times over. Even if i'd have to die a million times, i'd do it again and again. I mean even as i am writing this, i am pretty overwhelmed with love, that i could cry.

Monk: "Now, slowly, i want you to place a hand on the spot on your body where you feel this love, perhaps, on your heart. i want you to see the image of the person you love and thank God sincerely, for allowing you this great opportunity to love and be loved. And with a heart full of love and gratitude, spend a few moment talking to this God you believe in."

And so i spent a couple of minutes thanking God for many, many things and then proceeded to talk about things i needed to tell Him.

And when i am done i opened my eyes, i didn't care about who or what was around me. i am sure i looked totally disgusting with my tear stained (and hingus stained) shirt and puffy eyes but it hasn't felt so good in years. I felt a lightness coming over me and so i packed my stuff and decided that is it, i have heard what i needed to hear. There may be more deep, soul moving stories for the day, but i knew i am done.

So, really, where is God? Haha, i still don't know.

But i know it now that it starts with being in a place of mucha gratitud and mucha amor (much gratitude & much love).